Office Fashions

I'm really busy today at work so this post will be short.

I'm sporting the latest in office fashions today. I got my hair cut not too long ago and took off several inches. I decided to straighten my hair today with a flat iron and as a result, my hair keeps falling in my face. Since it's too short to tuck behind my ear, I'm wearing a binder clip.

Yes, a binder clip.

It took me a while to figure out why the short bus was stopped in front of my house this morning.

Women Over 30

I received this from a coworker who was kind enough to forward it on to all of us "over 30" gals. She's not 30 yet. She took a real risk sending it.

However, it's worth a read. I can't say for sure if I'm an Andy Rooney fan. I mean, I like the old windbag and I typically chuckle at his observations, but something about him rubs me the wrong way. I bet it's because I'm an agist. I fear old people, I think. I don't know. I get the hibbly jibblies when I'm around a lot of old people.

Anyway, enjoy this commentary. It has merit!

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free," here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Muffin Tops

In other news, I'm able to post pictures again. That fills my creative voids with a great sense of joy. It's a sickness.

Props to Stray Dog who propped the Daily News on a fashion faux paux known as the "muffin top." My coworkers and I got a huge laugh over the muffin top. Working on a college campus, we are privy DAILY to muffin top sightings. Before we knew of the term, ABomb had enlightened us by calling a similar visual "Front Butt." Muffin Top is perfect.

Ladies, know thy figure, flatter thy figure. Muffin tops are not attractive. Cover it up.

And damnit! I can't upload my pics!

I can't seem to upload any pictures to my posts today. You know how frustrating that is for me, the anal-retentive, borderline OCD creative person I am. I've got pics to go with my posts and Blogger is having a burp in it's system.

I'll try again tomorrow.

Crushing Blow

I had a few spare moments today and I was able to catch up on some of my favorite blogs. NoDak Mark had a couple of entries about his place of employment known as "The Company" and his company's product, "The Widget." Reading Mark's entries was like looking back on my week last week. It was hell, people, hell.

Mark - I feel your pain and completely know where you are coming from. Going beyond the call of duty for the greater good, because you believe in what you do, just doesn't pay off. And you end up getting beat down like a red-headed stepchild the first time you screw up, and all the hard work you've done before that mistake, is forgotten. I know exactly what you're talking about. My sympathies, my man, my sympathies.

Like Mark's second post, where he claims he'll never bring home the drudgeries of his work day again, I, too, plan to leave the stresses of the day behind, packed tightly inside the four gray walls that surround me daily for about 9-10 hours. It's just not worth it.

No one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office."

Last week my spirit was broken. As much as I had said to myself, "No, no, I don't have any expectations of a promotion," secretly, I was hoping. It's been done before for other people, why not me? I certainly performed well, I exceeded expectations, I put my heart and soul into that project, yet, once again, ONCE AGAIN, I was overlooked. For someone who had no expectations, I sure was disappointed.

So I ended up in the middle of a firestorm that drained every ounce of functionality out of me. I basically put an end to my role in "said project" because, one, I fulfilled my obligation, in fact, I did more than fulfill it, I saw it through from beginning to end without compensation, without praise and with TONS of headaches and unpaid overtime. And two, if I continue to do all the work behind the scenes, why will they bother finding someone else to run the project? Enter JMR, enter cheap labor. Sigh.

So blogging has become light as I try to reevaluate my role here at "The Company" and force myself into realization that things won't change for me. Surprisingly, it's not been too hard. Perhaps all that nonwishful thinking paid off. Resolution is a comforting thing at times. But it's also damaging to the psyche.

My mantra lately has been "Manage Your Emotions and Thrive Under Pressure." Well, I'm doing my best to alleviate the pressure by simply stepping back and saying, "No." And as for managing my emotions, hey, I've got that under control too. I've managed to be a bitch. I've managed to be a whining baby. I've managed to be disappointed. Yep, I'm managing all of that pretty darn well.

I want my spirit back. I want to believe again.

I realize that I put too much time and effort into my job, far more than I'm compensated for. But just how much can, or should, one person take? To be as cliche'esque as possible, I've painted myself into a corner and it's time to either piss or get off the pot. Either I stay and be resolved to my fate here, or, I update my resume and start looking for greener pastures. It's something I'll struggle with for the next several months. And you, my faithful blog readers (yes, all two of you) will have to deal with me.

Google Search Mystery

I want to know how the words "Aleve, Excrement, Color" can lead someone to my blog from a google search.

My conclusion is this.

My blog is a colorful piece of shit that causes headaches.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Alright, so it's been a busy last several days for me, and not just at work. Friday evening, after a long day, my husband calls just as I'm leaving the office and wants to know if I want to go to my nephew's sectional basketball tournament game. Sure, why not.

I haven't stopped since.

The Hayseeds vs. the #1 Seed
My nephew goes to a Division I school in the western suburbs of Cleveland. How his school is Division I is beyond me - not your typical Division I school. Apparently it's based on enrollment and Midview must make the enrollment cut-off by one. Unfortunately for them, they were paired up against Cleveland St. Edwards, a private school in the heart of Cleveland, and independent. I would have to say that St. Ed's had at least 6-12 inches on every player of Midview. It's not a surprise that they lost despite their best attempts to make a run. It was a fun night but disappointing for the Middies.

And that brings me to "Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh Baybeeeeeee!" It's March Madness time again. Bring on the brackets. I'm ready.

Into the Bowels of the Jake
Saturday morning, Jacob's Field had an open house for the public. Joonya is really starting to dig the Tribe so we decided to go, and I'm glad we did. It was a chance to see everything that goes on behind the scenes at a ML baseball game. Joonya got to hit 3 balls in the batting cages under the field. We got to tour the clubhouse and the visiting team clubhouse. We were able to sit at the press interview table. We were able to view all of the fancy club seats and loge/party rooms. Rock on, I totally want to splurge and spend $1200 on a loge! We got to sit in the press box which is HUGE. I was pretty geeked about sitting up there looking down on homeplate. On warm days, the windows open so the press can be even closer to the action. Towards the end of the day, we were able to walk out onto the field's warning track. It was fun to see all the kids, and even some grown men, run and pretend to be catching a fly ball while smashing themselves into the wall. I was laughing at all the diehards who were taking pictures of themselves receiving "the call" in the bullpen. It was a great community event and I'm glad the Jake put it on. I'm such a fan.

When we were finished, we walked across the street to Alice's Cooperstown for lunch. I just don't do novelty restaurants well. One, they are always overpriced. And two, the food usually sucks. Hard Rock, Planet Hollywood, pleck. Cooperstown is no exception. Pisspoor service and the food was hardly edible. The only good thing was that I got to hear both sides of Motley Crue's Shout at the Devil and Girls, Girls, Girls.

Brought back some fond, fond memories of my high school and college days. I just hope the Too Young to Fall in Love video we made at Mike's house with my posse from high school never shows up on the Internet.

It's 2 a.m. - Time to vomit!
So Joonya has come down with some nasty stomach virus. For the last few nights, he's been having a really tough time of it. He'll fall asleep for about 5 hours and then will wake up, usually around 2 a.m., and puke. After the initial purge, it's several more hours of tossing and turning and trips to the bathroom. I'm cranky today because I'm going on limited sleep. Not only does he have some sort of virus, he's broken out with a nasty rash on his right arm, and only his right arm. He suffers from eczema from time to time, and I assumed when this badboy showed, it was just that. But by Sunday afternoon it had worked it's way up his arm, over his shoulder and down his back. He looked like a leper. I called off work and took him to the doctor yesterday. Apparently he's got some sort of skin allergy and it's a mystery as to what is causing it. The medication the doctor gave him is doing the trick though. Perhaps it was all the fungus growing on the pads of the homerun fence at the Jake!

Please note that I spared you all pictures of vomit and leprocy.

What the eff is up with Diet Pepsi?
I'm talking about those 24 ounce plastic bottles of Diet Pepsi that come in a six pack. My husband ALWAYS buys them at the store. Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Diet Pepsi, Sprite. This only happens with the 6-pack 24 ouncers. I don't know what kind of carbonation Pepsi is packing in those bottles, but EVERY FREAKING TIME I open a bottle, it's like Old Faithful is going off in my hand. If it hasn't burst and spilled all over my hand, clothes, counter, floor, carpet...it's a GD miracle. Even after a successful opening, I just sit and stare at all the bubbles roaring up from the bottom of the bottle, like some sort of chemistry experiment gone horribly wrong. And it makes it's own noise! It's the damndest thing. No wonder they put warning labels on the bottles. "Contents under pressure. Use extreme caution when opening. Safeguard valuable clothing, carpet, etc." Cripes!

I got on this rant because Joonya spilled at least 12 ounces this morning on the table which managed to puddle on the carpet, splash the wall (behind him, mind you) and pool up on the windowsill - as we were just about to walk out the door for school. No time for a thorough cleaning either, it was a Resolve quick spray and we were on our way. I'm sure the sticky residue will be fun to come home to tonight.

Manage Your Emotions and Thrive Under Pressure
This is my new motto. After a very, very trying day, I received a seminar booklet in the mail today on "Managing your Emotions and Thriving Under Pressure." No, I'm not going to go, but I thought, damn, that's what I need to learn how to do. Realizing that I'm emotional by nature and that I can't change it - I sure as hell can try to manage it better. And I definitely could learn to thrive a bit better under pressure. I mean, the pressure is going to be there, no matter what, so I might as well thrive! I typed out my little motto and taped it to my monitor as a reminder. We'll see what happens.

I wonder how long it'll take before my coworkers leave cyanide tablets on my desk with a note, "Do us all a favor."